What not to feed your skunk

Bacon.  It’s one of the main things keeping me from being a vegetarian.  It is also the main topic of “What not to feed your skunk.”

On a cute animal picture search, I stumbled across pictures of Mr. Bumble the skunk and the accompanying article “Pepe le HUGE” http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1216844/Pepe-le-HUGE-Pet-skunk-strict-diet-ballooning-diet-bacon-butties.html  In summary Mr. Bumble was fed two bacon sandwiches daily by his former owners which led to severe skunk obesity.  Now the skunk is on a strict diet and exercise plan, and on the road to recovery. 

I’m no expert, but two bacon sandwiches a day doesn’t sound like a good meal plan for any species.

What were these people thinking?  First of all, immediately, off the top of my head I can think of at least 50 things I would feed a skunk before bacon.  The first things that come to mind when I think to myself “what would a skunk like to eat?” are snails and insects, fruits and vegetables, and then maybe I would then go with cat or dog food.  Secondly, if I had any bacon around I would eat it myself not give it to a skunk!

Can I assume that these people kept an endless supply of bacon in their icebox?  Were they also consuming the bacon sandwiches alongside Mr. Bumble, making two for themselves, one for their striped friend?  Are they on a crash diet now too?  I can’t help but imagine Mr. Bumble’s former owners being as comically portly as their pet.  One look at that pathetic pudgy face and those innocent skunky eyes placed in the obscenely rotund body and I feel like I need someone to blame.  I have resorted to villainizing the Earl of Sandwich who I am convinced is somehow remotely responsible for the skunk’s fate by inventing the sandwich in the first place.

Is this proof that animals love bacon too?  Perhaps, but in my experience a skunk will eat just about anything….

This is a true story that takes place when I was in elementary school. In fact, my younger sister and I were actually at school when the following events unfolded.  In our absence, a skunk entered our house.  He wandered about the house, waddled right into my sister’s room, ate all of the black jelly beans out of her Easter basket, and then took a shit in her closet!  Let me first explain that the skunk did not go through the jelly beans selecting only the black ones, but the entire basket itself was compromised of black jelly beans!  Disturbing I know, this was my licorice freak mother’s way of indulging my younger sister’s budding black licorice phase.  More often than not I have seen people avoid the black hued beans like the plague, but my sister stuck out her licorice blackened tongue like a proud giraffe.

My favorite part of the story is that my sister’s room was at the end of the hall so the skunk walked right past my room and bypassed it completely.  Did the black jelly beans attract the skunk?  Did they then induce pooping? I don’t think we will ever know the answer to those questions….

"Schoolboy Jonathan Felgate wanted a hamster for his birthday - but instead he was given a skunk".
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-489211/The-pet-skunk-likes-taken-walks-suburbia.html#ixzz1Af0EXDuh